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Sunday, 31 August 2008

DAM!

I got this sudden surge of don't know what coming over me, overcoming and devouring me. I think its stress? My head was as if it was splitting and I had to go to bed. This sudden pressure in my head always lead my to these questions: How will I do for my O's? What course will I be in next year? Will I even pass my O's? These questions often circle around my head. With no answers, I just move on. I really don't know what to do. I always think that there's not enough time for me to catch up; a never ending journey. Its like I see people, so happy in poly, and wonder what I will be next year. I see people like Aaron, (Not the 1 n our school) Jun Yao, Cheng Hao etc. I will feel stressed, really. 1 thing I know for sure is that I won't be doing well for prelims; because I know I screwed it up badly. 1 thing's for sure; I AM DEFINITELY NOT GOING FOR S2E EVEN IF I HAVE TO. I'm in a state of dilema now, and just wandering around, doing nothing. ARGH!
46 days to O's...

Monday, 25 August 2008

Argh... Exams

Hmm... Where should I begin? Well, prelims started on the 15th of August (9 days ago) with Social Studies paper and English Paper 1. For the first time in two years, I actually had an idea of what I was doing in S.S.! Haha. Hope to get a PASS. Just a pass, and I will be contented. English paper - Argh... I don't really want to talk about bout it, but yeah, I wrote like 4 pages of personal recount and well - one and a half pages of letter writing. Screwed haha. Don't really want to talk about English man...
On Monday was Maths Paper 1, and again for the first time in my life, I knew how to do maths! (At least a pass) Thanks a million Miss Thio!
Geography and Physics were on Tuesday, and I got an IR for smiling at Ivan, and he got one at smiling at me. Screw. I could do the first part of geog - Forests. Haha. Something I was good at, but when it came to development, I'll just put it that I didn't do too well. Lol.
English Language Paper 2 and Maths was next, and to my amazement, I could do all the sums except the last 2 statistics questions! Omg. This is a miracle man. But I did rush through my work, so I MIGHT just fail due to my carelessness.
Chemistry - 1 DIGIT MARK! No kidding man, everyone came out of the exam hall going like, "WTF IS CHEM SO DIFFICULT?" I didn't have any comments back then because I honestly didn't know what I was doing at all for the 1 hour and 15 minutes.
A-maths was terrible. It is in my "flung and heck care subject" list, so yeah, you know what I mean.
No paper for me tomorrow! Chinese and literature, good luck guys!
This is just the first lap, there's still a second lap, and I'm done.

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Rejoice!

Today was a boring day... Had to assemble in the Parade Square early in the morning. It is Tuesday, so I found it kind of awkward assembling in the Parade Square as we were to assemble in the hall every Tuesday morning because of chapel. The reason of this is because we had guests. Guests from Verakin High School. It is some school from Chong Qing. Oh well, after gathering in the Parade Square, we still had to move up to the hall for chapel.
I am not very sure, but I think that the chapel band that played today kinda screwed up? The drums were like... Bad... But I am in no position to judge anyway, so it's just a passing remark. After that was A-maths and I always felt really bad during A-maths, because I'm always doing other work while Mr. Paul is teaching. Sorry Mr. Paul! For today's case, I was doing E-maths! Haha. A-maths ended abruptly (for me) and I moved to Design Studio 2 for D&T. I was telling Cek about what is going on in Kenichi when I suddenly heard Joel Lai saying that the Chinese O level results had been released. My heart felt as if it stopped fora moment, then started beating again. I thought that I didn't do very well for chinese... I screwed up my letter writing, bao zhang bao dao, oral... The only thing that I had confidence in is my listening comprehension.
I stepped up and took a closer look. There was a "(1)" beside my name. I didn't know what it was and started asking people around me what it meant, then I realised that it is my grade! I was so very, very, surprised - seriously. I didn't expect an A1, I was expecting a B3 or something, a grade along the "B" line. My grade wasn't the only think that shocked me. I was just looking at other people's grades, when I saw a familiar name, one in which I have been seeing the past 10 years or so. Aaron! Beside his name is a "(2)"! Haha. Felt so surprised and yet so glad.
My day didn't turn out to be that boring after all.

Sunday, 10 August 2008

Love your teachers, love your school.

Its been a really long time since i blogged... And I decided to do so, at this very moment. O.O. Well. The past month had really been hectic, everyday after school I would stay back and catch up on my work, concerned teachers with panicky looks on their faces; I see them everyday. Thats not the only thing that I see on their faces though. So much love and care, its really unbelievable. Teachers like Mr. Liew, Miss Lee, and last but definitely not least, Miss Thio. These teachers are wonderful, seriously. I know some of you out there may not like them (except for Mr. Liew whom all our class' girls go crazy over), but speaking honestly from my heart; they're the best.
A teacher that would stay back till 7.30pm to do maths with me? I don't think I can find another teacher in our school thats willing to that; for a rotten student like myself. To all you guys out there, Miss Thio is truly a great teacher. Yeah, I'm expecting that from you guys behind the computer, incredulous smiles. I get that all the time when I say that Miss Thio is a great teacher. I can't change the way you guys think, but I sincerely hope that you will really treasure and appreciate a teacher like Miss. Thio. In fact, treasure ALL your teachers NOW.
I see the importance in appreciating our teachers (although its kind of late) because I've been working part time lately. I remember being a promoter somewhere in Jurong a few months back. While I was there, I felt so alone. I felt like that was some kind of shield or barrier that was being lifted from body. I felt so small, so vulnerable. That was when I realised that the shield is actually the love, care, and concern of teachers, and the protection of our school. I have never felt like that in my entire life until that day. I had no teachers, no friends, no classmates, no nothing. I just felt like I was alone. Doing everything alone. It was a miserable feeling.
I think moving on to another institution, or going out to the working world, it'll more or less be the same. Guys out there in Fairfield, I'm certain that you'll feel the same way that I felt. Although we might be happy that we're graduating and moving on to the next phase of our lives soon, don't forget how much these teachers have given to us, and really, just thank them.
Personally, I look forward to moving on, going to another place for further studies. But honestly speaking, I think I will miss my school A HELL LOT. From the morning devotions (although I'm not a Christian; I'm just used to it for the past 9 years.) to the sound of the school bell. Even the detentions;I must say, will be unforgettable.
Ok thats all for today.
P.S. Can anybody help me with my tagboard? Tell me over MSN thanks!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Stressed...

Hmm... Its now almost 5am in the morning and I'm here to blog. Sorry bloggy, kind of busy these few days and therefore neglected you. Oh well, here to blog anyway.
Many things have been happening these few days, and all these things that happen me revolve around 1 word - CHOICES. Many, many choices to make, and I'm very very confused.
The day before yesterday. after morning assembly, Mr.Lim Sin Heng, our Vice-Principal, wanted to meet all D&T and Art students. This sent a shiver down my spine, because I know that 1 of them that he wanted to see was going to be me. He asked all of the D&T and Art students to stay back, and began calling out names. As expected, my name was being called out. He then dismissed the rest and those whose names were being called out had to stay behind. Those doing D&T were to sit down on his left, and those who were doing Art were to sit on his right. The atmosphere was very tense, as we know the offences that we have committed and were awaiting punishment. We knew that we haven't been attending the coursework sessions regularly and thus being pulled out.
Mr. Choy, being his usual self, with a diary in his hand and his arms folded, looked a bit worried. He called me up and gestured me toward Mr.Lim. Mr Choy explained to Mr.Lim that I had wanted to drop this subject in the early beginning of the year, but my request was rejected. He told him that I had seeked permission from him to attend the Maths tutorial sessions during the assigned coursework time, and hoped that he would excuse me. Mr.Choy had also told Mr.Lim that D&T was a very low priority subject for me. Mr.Lim pondered for a while, asked Mr.Choy to monitor me and instructed me to get back to class.
After I scurried off, I felt really guilty. I know is 1 thing to not do D&T because I have no intention of using it as 1 of my subjects for my L1R4, but the ownership of my own coursework is another thing. I felt really bad when Mr.Choy asked Mr.Lim to excuse me. I knew that if I don't complete my coursework, it would really bring trouble to my D&T teachers.Although I did thank him, I felt that what I should really do is really something more than a "thank you."
This led me to ponder about something else at the later part of the day. I feel that all teachers are the same; they're willing to go the extra mile for their students. I can already name some teachers who do that, namely Mr.Liew, (I know he's very nice but the class seem to take his kindness for granted) Ms.Thio, (and I felt really bad when I got to know that she wasn't invited to our class BBQ last year) even Wang Lao Shi! She stayed back with a couple of students until late into the evening just to touch up their BAO ZHANG BAO DAO skills. Although I know that there are still some teachers who don't really care, and only teach for a living but what about those teachers that are doing so much for us? What are we doing to repay them?
Actually the answer is very easy. I think all teachers want their students to just shut the hell up, pay attention in class, get good grades, don't sleep in class, and contribute to CONSTRUCTIVE noise, and not nonsense like some people are doing. Some of the guys in class, are always causing the class to be noisy, not because they're talking, but because they're SPEWING dumb questions toward the teacher and wasting their time. It not that they don't understand what the teacher is teaching, but just that they're ATTENTION SEEKERS OR TRYING TO COVER UP FOR TALKING. Dumb right? Once or twice might be funny, but it REALLY gets on my nerves after a while. Prior to that,it deprives the students who really want to learn of their time.
Oops sorry. I went out of point for a while. Haha. Thats how frustrated I am. Well, its time to be selfish. There is no such thing as "CLASS UNITY" crap in my class, (at least I don't see it, maybe the girls are but DEFINITELY not the guys). I'm just going to care about myself now, and DUMP all sorts of BAD INFLUENCES around me away. I'll just give them the cold shoulder, because I think thats the best remedy. I don't care if the class friggin talks or make noise or whatever, I'll just ignore. Its just infuriating to see students behaving in this manner.